A Division of Hagnolia Industries The Frandyman
No job too small · No favor too weird

Who can fix your mailbox? Repair your rotted stoop?

The Frandymancan.

Meet Fran — recovering retiree, neighborhood legend, and the only handyman who'll fix your doorframe and chase down the guy throwing poop on your lawn. He brings his own tools. He measures twice. He always leaves it better than new.

Summon the Frandyman 🎵 Hear the anthem
✦ ✦ ✧ ✦ Fran Hagerty as the Frandyman — in a purple suit and gold top hat, arms outstretched, holding a hammer and a tape measure, wearing a full tool belt
The Full Service List

What can the Frandyman do?

Pulled straight from the official anthem. Every one of these is a real thing he has actually done, possibly to your house, possibly for free.

3½"

Mailbox repair

Leaning, dented, or barely hanging on. He'll set it straight and square — flag included.

36" run

Rotted stoops

That soft spot you've stepped over for three years? Gone. Rebuilt strong and true.

26" wheel

Bike tires

Flat tire, sad kid, summer afternoon. Not on his watch — rolling again in minutes.

URGENT

Poop patrol

Someone throwing you-know-what onto your lawn? He will chase them down. This is a genuine offering.

8'×10'

Workshops & counters

Built from scratch, tightened to spec, finished clean. He brings his box of tools to make it all look good.

∞ screws

Every screw, tightened

Wobbly chairs, loose hinges, that one cabinet door. He'll find loose screws you didn't know you had.

0 drips

Leaky faucets

Drip. Drip. Dr— fixed. Stops the leak and the late-night water-torture soundtrack.

plumb

Sticky doorframes

Drags, sticks, won't latch? He'll fix your doorframe too — swings like new.

winter

Snowy walks, cleared

Shoveled and salted before you've even found your other glove. Plus a wave from the driveway.

festive

Wears the costume

Birthday, block party, random Tuesday — the purple suit and gold top hat come out on request.

priceless

A friendly talk

Sometimes the real repair is just stopping by to say hi. He's good at that one too.

★ bonus

Cold beer & a fire

Brings everyone together over a backyard fire and a cold one. The unofficial neighborhood mayor.

Who can do all that? The Frandyman can.

The Official Anthem

The Frandyman

Penned by a neighbor who clearly gets it — set to a tune you already know by heart. Press play — or tap the record — to hear the official recording, then sing along.

THE
FRANDY-
MAN45 RPM
▶ Click to play
Words & music adapted from a tune about a different "-andyman" · Performed nightly in the cul-de-sac
Verse

Who can fix your mailbox? Repair your rotted stoop,

Change your old bike tire and chase you down for throwin' poop?

Chorus

The Frandyman, (the Frandyman) oh the Frandyman can… (the Frandyman can)

The Frandyman can 'cause he helps with love and laughter — makes the world feel good

Verse

Who can build a workshop? Tighten every screw,

Stop a leaky faucet and fix your doorframe too?

The Frandyman, (the Frandyman) oh the Frandyman can… (the Frandyman can)

The Frandyman can 'cause he brings his box of tools to make it all look good

Bridge

The Frandyman measures everything he makes,

He hammers and he caulks it too,

He builds it so strong and true,

And leaves it much better than new.

Verse

Who can build a counter? Clear your snowy walk?

Chase the flashing lights? Stop and have a friendly talk?

The Frandyman, (the Frandyman) oh the Frandyman can… (the Frandyman can)

The Frandyman can 'cause he helps with love and laughter — makes us all feel good

Verse

Who can wear a costume? Make friends anywhere?

Bring us all together over a fire & cold beer?

The Frandyman, (the Frandyman) oh the Frandyman can… (the Frandyman can)

Outro

The Frandyman makes everyone he meets

Feel like they are someone special.

As a person he deserves a medal —

on that we can always settle.

The Frandyman banner — Fran in his purple suit and gold top hat with tools, in front of the Hagnolia house
Founder · CEO · Sole Employee

Meet the Frandyman

Francis Xavier Hagerty

Fran was enjoying a perfectly good retirement when a higher calling came knocking: the neighborhood's collective honey-do list. Mailboxes were leaning. Stoops were rotting. Faucets dripped into the night. Someone had to answer.

So he packed his box of tools, slapped a magnetic sign on the car (to the lasting pride of his family and the mild mortification of his wife and kids), and got to work — one favor, one screw, one cold beer at a time.

The Frandyman is a proud division of Hagnolia Industries, the family workshop behind the Hagnolia house. Same craftsmanship. Same questionable costumes. Slightly more poop-chasing.

0jobs declined
∞screws tightened
1magnetic car sign
5★from the whole street

Apprentice in training · regulation purple suit

Employee of the Month · Every Month

Meet the Apprentice

Penny

Chief Morale Officer & Director of Poop Patrol

Every Frandyman needs a right-hand dog, and Penny is his. She can't hold a hammer — no thumbs, tragically — but she supervises every job, inspects every repair, and has never once declined a customer.

She's still learning the trade, but she already owns the suit. The hat was her idea.

Have Costume, Will Travel

He will wear the costume

That line in the anthem isn’t a punchline — it’s a documented fact. Fran may own more costumes than tools. The legendary part: every time his daughter flew home from San Francisco during college, he met her at DFW arrivals in full costume — every single time. Equal parts mortifying and the sweetest thing on earth. It’s just his thing.

Fran in costume: Mrs. Claus. No further questions.
Mrs. Claus. No further questions.
Fran in costume: Airport pickup duty — St. Paddy’s edition.
Airport pickup duty — St. Paddy’s edition.
Fran in costume: The Easter Bunny, mid-dismount.
The Easter Bunny, mid-dismount.
Fran in costume: Rudolph runs the Jingle Bell 5K.
Rudolph runs the Jingle Bell 5K.
Fran in costume: Incognito at the department store.
Incognito at the department store.
Fran in costume: Also the airport. Yes, really.
Also the airport. Yes, really.
Fran in costume: Santa duty, est. decades ago.
Santa duty, est. decades ago.
Fran in costume: Abs of pure polyester.
Abs of pure polyester.
Fran in costume: Undisclosed luchador era.
Undisclosed luchador era.
Fran in costume: Mrs. Claus works the room.
Mrs. Claus works the room.
Fran in costume: Rudolph — wheels included.
Rudolph — wheels included.
Word on the Cul-de-Sac

Reviews from the neighbors

Real words from real neighbors — unsolicited, unedited, and frankly a little emotional.

A letter from Church Street
★★★★★

In our little Church Street, Cove Road enclave, something special has grown — something with a little magic. Residents have become neighbors and neighbors have become friends, and are reliably friendly and helpful. The Frandyman is each of these, with effortless distinction.

The Frandyman and his partner, Lady Angela, have transformed a tired, distinguished Cape Cod sea-captain’s home into a beautiful, inviting, charming, inspiring home — with gardens that comfort and lift the spirits of all who walk or drive by. Even more, often a warm hello and a simply lovely chat ensues with the Frandyman during his yard work or a home-improvement project.

And when I have a handyman task above my skill set — where trust and expertise are essential, and timing too — the Frandyman is here for the rescue. Modest, self-effacing, and expert each and every time: the greenhouse screens, the stovetop hood lights, the new marble bathroom floor, all with advice and supervision. Where would I be? Thank you, Frandyman, for taking such good care of me.

— Marian, Church Street
★★★★★

Called the Frandyman for some help organizing my shop area. Responsiveness was impressive. He came, looked at the project, and said he’d come up with something. After taking careful measurements — boy, did he! Beautiful drawers and shelves that slide and work perfectly. The workmanship is great, and my work area has been transformed and is totally organized. To top it off, he threw in some erasable labels for the drawers, and now I can easily find what I’m looking for.

— Johnny B
★★★★★

Fran is the best! Lots of complicated tools for simple jobs. He plans for every “worst” outcome with zeal!

— Jane McLaughlin
★★★★★

They handed the project to the other Fran. Here’s his verdict:

  • F flexible
  • R reliable
  • A analytical
  • N nails & screws provided
  • D detailed
  • Y yes, to be helpful
  • M materials sourced
  • A advice given
  • N neighborhood Santa with Claus (hammer)

Happy Father’s Day!

— The Other Fran & Donna
The Fee Schedule

Transparent pricing

No quotes. No invoices. No surprises. Just pick your tier.

Tier I

The Friendly Favor

$0

A handshake, a thank-you, and a wave whenever you drive past. That's the whole deal.

Most Popular

The Neighborly

$0

One (1) cold beer, consumed on site, plus twenty minutes of unhurried conversation.

Tier III

The Full Frandyman

$0

A backyard fire, good company, and a story that the cul-de-sac will retell for years.

The Frandyman does not accept money. He accepts cold beer, good company, and the occasional fire. Tips may be paid forward to the next neighbor in need.

Your Golden Work-Order

Summon the Frandyman

Tell him what's broken, leaning, dripping, or generally wrong. He'll be over before you finish typing. (He may already be in your driveway.)

Consider it done. ✅

The Frandyman is loading the truck.

Measure twice, hug once. He's on his way.

The Frandyman is a beloved joke, not a registered business. Please only summon him if you are related to, friends with, or lucky enough to be neighbors of the Frandyman himself.
Looking for an actual place to stay? That's the other family operation → hagnolia.com